Lewis thoughts...part deux

I was not going to write tonight, I did so many things wrong today that I thought I should just crawl into bed and end the day. So...I tried...but to no avail. Thus I found myself back in my books and back to this goofy letter by C.S. Lewis that will not leave me alone. So...here I sit...writing the next installment.

One of the queries that Sheldon made of Mr. Lewis was in regards to life after death. In response to this Mr. Lewis wrote.

"Note that life after death, which still seems to you the essential thing, was itself a late revelation. God trained the Hebrews for centuries to believe in Him without promising them an after-life, and, blessings on Him, he trained me in the same way for about a year. It is like the disguised prince in the fairy tale who wins the heroine's love before she knows he is anything more than a woodcutter. What would be a bribe if it came first had better come last."

This really hit me, hard. As I lay on my bed for an hour or so, just chewing on this paragraph and then hit the scriptures, I was stunned. I was raised to see beyond this life. I have been living my life for what comes after this life, and I see many Christians and Muslims that I love doing exactly the same thing. I need to stop living for what comes next. I need to live for now. I think that I can be a much better Christian and a better person and a better Cynthia if I stop trying to see eternity and start living for this moment. After all, eternity does not look so hot to me right now, but perhaps I can make the next few moments of my life and the lives of those around me look brighter.

Now...understand...all of this came to me in that moment of study. But I fear that I quickly lost my grip and perspective again and I did not live today for the moment and with the idea of brightening those around me. In fact, I lived the opposite of this and I fear that I hurt a number of folks. So...can I live in the moment and try to be better for others and repent at the same time for the past? This will take some additional pondering, I think...