I have messed up so many things lately, mostly due to having misplaced my priorities. But I am still being blessed and being allowed to see blessings come to others. God is awfully good that way. I have lost some friends along the way this past week and I am still filled with confusion and sorrow about all of my mistakes and I find myself doubly stunned that God will still find it in his heart to bless me. But I can see how the good works I have managed to squeak out offer me the opportunity for blessings in spite of my many shortcomings.
A dear friend stepped up for me this week and came through when I was laying on my bathroom floor wanting to die. She went out of her way and I was praying for blessings for her and, you know what, that prayer was answered. Because she did what she did for me and that put her getting home much later than she wanted to get home, she happened to arrive as her children were working together to put the ornaments on the tree. She was able to sit in her car and just watch them through her front window as they laughed and reminisced and shared this duty happily together. It was a powerful moment for her, a real gift, as this looks to be the last year this will likely happen for their family due to college and grown up life taking her oldest to another state next year. There is not a better gift that I could have ever wished to offer her and I am so grateful that in serving me, the timing was such that she was given such a breathtaking moment.
Today I wanted to be at church early so badly because a talented organist friend of mine was playing the greatest piece of music ever written as prelude to our meeting. (That piece of music is Bach's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" in case you were wondering.) But I needed to take care of a sick child and deal with yet ANOTHER leaky tire on my car and also do the groundwork necessary to make certain that our family could pick up a friend who we were gifting an afternoon at the Evergreen Children's Chorale concert after church. This friend has a tough time getting around on her own right now and much in her life is a struggle and I know that she loves music more than anything in the world and so I just knew that we had to get her to this show but the snowstorm was making that a bit tricky with her wheelchair and all. But a little legwork and brain power showed me the way to make it work. Well…we got to church late, really late. Poor Seviah was giving a talk despite being ill and she had to walk up in front of everyone and I will probably go to hell for that, but, well, add it to the list! Anyway, it came time for us to have our rest hymn, a song that we usually sing as a congregation between speakers to wake us up and get the blood pumping again. But today it was announced that my friend Gaylene would be playing her prelude number for the congregation since so few of us were able to hear it before the meeting. This was an amazing gift for me and I sat with tears streaming down my face as she played. For me, this was a hug from the heavens telling me that my good efforts were being noticed and there was someone there to help me repent and work past the messes I keep making.
Seviah gave a beautiful talk today on the scripture in Proverbs 4:26 where we are admonished to "ponder the path of thy feet". She reminded us that it is indeed a path we walk, not a trail we have to blaze, because a savior has walked the path before us and has felt what we feel and has been pierced with the pain that we feel and the pain that we deal to others and has overcome it and now gladly offers to show us the way and hold our hands as we try to do better. He is also offering blessings to remind us that we are indeed loved, despite the shortcomings. Whew, that's all I can say.
