In Tune

Many years ago we purchased a piano from a used furniture shop. We got it for a small amount of money because it was not in great shape and sounded really icky. We fixed up the outside and made it look pretty and put it in my library where the kids, well Michayla, have tinkered with it for years. It looks good in my library, It is a great place to showcase my one splurge piece of art (the head of the Madonna from Michelangelo's Pieta) and I like knowing I have a piano. However…it is painful to listen to. I mean really painful. I have tried a few times over the years to get someone to make the trek to Bailey to tune the poor instrument but was never successful for a price that I could justify. Well recently my friend Valerie and her family decided to purchase a cabin in our area and begin the process of converting their lives to mountain living (yippee!). Valerie is a musician and a piano teacher and so she happened to mention to me that she was moving a piano into the cabin and would need the services of a tuner. I jumped at that and told her that if she could twist someone's arm to come up then they could have two jobs for their travel. She made the arrangements and yesterday Mike came and made my piano sound pretty. I cannot tell you how excited I am about the sound it now makes. We have the dubious distinction of being the worst piano that Mike has encountered in all of his years of tuning. But I can smile about that because now we can make beautiful music.

There was a lesson that struck me deeply as I recorded my day last night before bed. We are often like that piano. We take good care of what is on the outside of us, we often look good, or work really hard to present a good face to everyone around us, but we do not have harmony on the inside. Our notes are filled with clashing discord. But we just keep working on the appearance and do not take the time to fix our keys, to tighten our strings and clean and adjust our hammers in order to run as smoothly on the inside as we do on the outside. There are times when we dabble in fixing the inside, but so often we find that the price is too high and we feel so alone. THEN…someone comes along and is willing to help us split the cost of the tuning. We come to realize that we don't have to shoulder then entire cost and burden alone and there is someone to show us the process and help us along the way. For me, the ultimate aid comes from the Savior, but often his works is done through others and I am so very grateful for so many people who have helped to carry me and lighten my burden and the high cost and effort it takes to keep me even mostly in tune.

My piano is not tuned to perfect concert pitch, it could not be pushed that far. Mike explained that these instruments are living things and can only be pushed so far in a single tuning, especially one as out of tune as my poor piano. So, it is a half a step flat from perfect, but it is in tune with itself. I tell you what, that is me as well. I am not perfect, but I am trying and I do get tired from the efforts I make to make myself better and I have to rest at times and accept that I am not perfect but that I am feeling the connections to those around me and I am sounding good for the moment. Mike said that one day, in the future, he could return and do more work on my piano, after she has had time to rest (yes, I am making my piano a girl). God is the same with me. He pushes then he lets me rest and then he pushes me again. I am glad that I have God and that he knows me and that he is patient enough to use this instrument even when I am a step flat from concert perfect!

Until she wears out

There have been so many powerful experiences in the past week that I need to just sit at this computer and write for hours to make certain that I capture everything before it begins to fade. But all of these great new insights and awe-ha's (Michayla's spelling and I love it) have worn me out. And I do not think that this is an accident. Today as I was leaving church, I watched my friend Jennifer take her wobbly one year old, Lexi, by the hand and walk with her from the far corner of the building clear out and across to the far end of the opposite parking lot. I was walking behind her, watching her adorable chubby little legs desperately try to keep up with mom and not fall down and just be a big girl. (Most of you don't know Lexi, but she really is a spitfire and wants to be as big as possible as soon as possible…kinda like her mom was as a girl…) I almost said something to Jennifer about being a brilliant mom because that long walk is gonna wear Lexi out and there will be a bit of peace and quiet for awhile for mom. Then it struck me. That is exactly what God did to me this week. He stuck his finger out and let me hold on and take my bowlegged, wobbly steps and see some great new sights and learn a few new things and remember a few old, important truths. And he took me the long way round and, boy oh boy, did he ever wear me out. And now, I can picture him kicking back and saying, "Whew, I wore her out for at least a few minutes and now maybe I can get some peace and quiet without her asking a million questions about a million things and begging help for a million people." Okay, maybe not in those words, but I think he is hoping for a breather from my endless curiosity. I am also seeing that I am like our new little puppy. Sometimes you just want to throw that chew toy REALLY far in hopes that she will take a bit more time retrieving it and bringing it back to you and then proceeding to chew on everything else but the chew toy. God would appreciate it if I would just chew on the, quite meaty, bones that are already sitting in front of me instead of running around trying to find more. But…I know he loves me and I also know that all of these questions and queries are part of spiritual gifts that he gave me and so I do not plan to give him much of a breather.