Reactions

I have had a number of things occur in the past few days that make me really consider my reactions. What do I do in the few seconds after an incident or a question or an occurrence or a meeting with someone and just how much do those reactions say about me. Do they reflect negatively on me, as they did on the woman that I saw blatant racism from tonight when a young man that was in my company offered her his chair and she stated that she did not want his chair and then seconds later another young man offered her the same thing and she took his chair. There was only one difference between these two young men, the young man with me was African-American and the other young man was not. I felt truly ill. I do not want to ever make someone feel sick due to one of my reactions.


On the flip side, I had two very positive reactions in these past days that warmed my heart and got my tear ducts lubricated. Yesterday, while visiting Tarpon Springs, and particularly the Greek sponge diving area of town, I left Tim and Michayla shopping and I slipped into the public bathroom. I needed to use the restroom but I also needed to apply some aloe lotion to an intense sunburn I received on the beach (a sunburn that is really Michayla's fault, but that is another story). In the bathroom I observed an elderly Greek woman sitting in front of the hand dryer, with a loaded cleaning cart next to her. As women came out and washed their hands, this woman would tear off a paper towel from the roll in her lap and hand them a towel to wipe their hands with. She had a small tip jar in her lap where women were dropping a dollar or change in exchange for her service. I was dismayed as I saw one woman refuse the offered towel and lift her dripping hands over the elderly woman and proceed to use the hand dryer, all the while dripping on the elderly woman's back. But the old lady did not seem to mind, she just kept distributing her paper towels and all of the other women that I observed, while they may have at first been taken back, all quickly caught on and took the towel and left a tip. It was rather painful to watch, actually, due to the fact that this elderly woman's hands were extremely twisted and bent with arthritis and it was not an easy task to even tear the paper towels off of the roll. When my turn came, I was prepared and I left a nice tip in her jar and thanked her. Then I moved off to one side so that I could apply my aloe gel. At this point, there was only the elderly woman and me in the bathroom. As I lifted my pant leg, the woman gasped (it is a pretty nasty burn) and she immediately went down on her knees, out of her chair, held out her hands and said, in broken English, "let me rub on the cream". I was stunned at first as I looked at those knobby hands. I took her hands in mine and told her that I could do it and I found myself tearing up as I asked if this was her job and how bad her pain was. She explained that she also cleans the bathroom and that this was indeed how she earned a living since her husband died. Now...I do understand that she may have attempted to apply the gel for me because she was seeking additional tips, but it seemed like just a genuine and sweet reaction to my injury. And I was seriously touched. Yes, I cried. I pretty much kept it together until I left the bathroom, but then I had to take a moment and work through it. And as I leaned against the building and thought through this experience, I found myself desperately hoping that I would fall on my knees, off of my chair, if I saw someone in pain. It was a powerful reaction.


Finally, today. I was a grump. I went to Sea World with Michayla and Kaylei, they met some friends so I had a bite to eat with them and then I went my own way. I am tired and footsore and I found some of my favorite animals, but I could not find the one that I really wanted and the park was extremely crowded and I was just being grumpy. So I sat down on a bench to write a really grumpy status on Facebook about how I dislike people and I only care for the animals in this place. I opened the app and started to log in and then I saw a young man skip by the bench where I sat and I saw the "eyes" from his penguin Sea World cup (think Mr. Potatohead eyes) fall down and roll away. I will admit it, I sat there for a moment or two and stared at it and thought about the effort I would have to make in order to retrieve that toy piece and then chase the boy down. But I finally got up off my big, fat, rear end and grabbed the piece and headed for the boy. I got to him at about the same time he realized that he was missing the eyes and was beginning to scan the ground around him. I tapped his shoulder and held out the eyes to him and his reaction was so priceless. Before he could even take a second breath, he had thrown his arms around my waist and squealed, "Thank you! I love you!" Again, I was stunned for a moment but then I put my arms around him as well and told him he was very welcome. And his mother smiled at me over his head and it was a perfect moment. And I turned away and walked over to my bench and wrote a much different status. But this moment also got me thinking about reactions. I do not have this kind of grateful reaction nearly enough. I have a lot of great people who do a lot of great things for me and I need to throw my arms around more people, without even thinking about it far more often than I do.


I want to have what my husband and I have termed a "Charity Reflex". I want my knee-jerk, very first reactions to be as Christlike as possible and I do not want to have to stop and think about it, I want my reactions to be just as reflexive as these two people that wandered into my life. I need to find a way to work on this area in my life. I am still working out just what kind of exercises one must do in order to have better reactions and I would love suggestions...

One of THOSE moments

It doesn't happen very often, but every once in awhile we got one of those extra special moments when we know that God is real and that he is aware of us. This just happened to me and I am so grateful. It has been a long day and I should have gone to bed but the water was calling me and so I donned a suit and headed out the pool alone to soak off the day's stickiness. I did a few exercises and such and then I just stretched out and floated and as I looked up, I saw the gorgeous moon (I believe that it is no accident that Cynthia means "moon goddess") and she was looking down at me through the spokes of the screened covering which looks remarkably like a gorgeous spiderweb when viewed looking up from below (and you all know how much spiders mean to me) and the heavy, gorgeous scent of the neighboring orange grove was wafting over me and there was this intense and weighty sense of anticipation. But, anticipation of what? And then...it happened. As I floated there, almost breathless, a wee cloud floated in and took just the right position and formed the most incredible rainbow corona around the moon and there it was, there was the moment. There was that undeniable and completely encompassing sense of wholeness, peace and love. Like the entire multiverse was giving me a hug and just everything loves me and I love it all right back. And then, after I caught my breath, I suddenly realized that I was crying. Not weeping, just leaking. And I was complete and worthy and whole and it has been a long time since I felt one of those moments. God is good.