Yesterday, December 1st, was a difficult anniversary. Maggie Long, a seventeen year old wonder child, was murdered in her home in our neighborhood. It is a hard anniversary for me as a mom and a teacher and it is an even more difficult anniversary to my daughter and many other young people who loved Maggie. And these are all kids that I love. And yes, the fact that the murderer has never been caught adds immensely to the difficulty.
I had made the decision to sign our family up to sing sacred carols with the stake group that had been invited to do so in the Olde Golden Christmas parade on this date. I felt the need to be out and about, doing what good we could be doing on this date. It was a wise choice for all of us and we had a terrific time and loved the hours we spent as a family wandering the shops and streets of downtown Golden after the parade had finished. We even got to take a horse drawn carriage ride around the city!
Getting to the staging area of a parade meant a lot of flurry on a Saturday morning and so I found no time for my morning meditation, on a morning when I really needed to meditate. I was frustrated by this, but it couldn't be helped. We arrived at the staging area just in time and had a great time watching all of the participants arrive and prepare. As we were waiting, I heard my phone ring repeatedly but when I checked it there was no call. It was then that I realized that I was hearing real bagpipes and not my phone! I followed that blessed sound and discovered a bagpipe group warming up on the patio of the visitor's center. I found a bench that was sitting fully in the morning sun right next to Clear Creek and I sat down and listened as the sun warmed my face. As I sat I heard Scotland the Brave, Simple Things, Amazing Grace, Good King Wenceslas, and finally, Greensleeves. If you know me at all you would understand that if you added a wee bit of Bach to that playlist you would have the mediation music for Cynthia down to a tee. I cannot even describe how glorious this personal meditation moment was for me. I sometimes think that I cannot really meditate away from my beloved Bok Gardens, but that was about as perfect a meditation as I have ever experienced.
Later in the day, I walked into a clothing shop and saw, as if there were a neon arrow pointing to it, the most adorable flannel cardinal nightgown. This is always a sign that my great grandparents are near and want me to be aware. (Don't laugh, it's true.) It will sound silly to most of you, but I knew in that moment, as I had known on that bench a couple of hours earlier, that I was so very not alone. I was so loved and hugged and there are plenty around me, seen and unseen, who are taking good care of me. I didn't even realize it until that very moment, but that is the message I most needed on this difficult day. I just needed to be reminded that God is so aware of each of us and while he may allow us to struggle as a part of being mortal, he also never leaves our side.
