Connections

These thoughts are kind of a continuation of the identity blog of a few days ago. I spend so much of my time and effort preaching about connections. Connections in what we read and study and connections with people. But just like with identities, connections can bring strength and comfort and also a great deal of pain. So, have I been steering people wrong?

As I pull in and look to myself and work to rely on me and few others, I feel the need to eliminate some connections. I find myself wishing, at this time, that I had not made so many connections. I learned of a woman today who will be possibly donating a kidney to the young daughter of some good friends. This woman is approximately my age and has never married nor had children and is feeling that offering her kidney will be her way to offer life to a child. For just a moment I felt a bit of jealousy for her. She is totally in control of her destiny and there is power in this. Is the grass just always greener on the other side??!!

I spent some time at a local cemetery today pondering these thoughts trying to move from some very dark moments in my family in order to return and bring light to those I love and found it very difficult to move myself to this light. My friend, Darleen, keeps telling me that this darker time is likely due my just being tired, even exhausted. I am truly hoping that she is correct. Now, I just have to find some moments to sleep! I guess I better stop writing for now and get some rest RIGHT NOW.