My new journal

Karena is in Europe. This means that I can say whatever I want about her right now and she cannot do anything about it. I do not like Karena at this moment. I love her, she is my sister in so many ways, but I do not care for her presently. As our school year came to a close, Karena did something for me that nobody has ever done before. I am the queen of journals. I am all the time giving journals to people and nagging them to record their adventures, whatever adventure may look like for them. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am the journal freak (and pest). But nobody has ever given me a journal before. Karena did and it is so beautiful. It is definately a journal that I would pick for myself, so it is obvious that she knows me. It is green (the only color of any real standing), it is an Irish journal (which is as close as you can get to a Scotland journal and still be green), it has thick, beautiful, cream colored pages and every other page or so has a beautiful quote or Irish blessing written in the corner. However there is a BIG BUT attached to this jounal. I cannot write just whatever I want. Karena gave it to me and told me that she is fed up with me not seeing my worth. She told me that all of these people around me see what I am, but I do not. So...this is a "greatness journal", and I am to use this journal for the express purpose of recording things that I see in myself that are great. What a load of hooey. So here I sit. I cannot sleep. And this journal is taunting me as it has been for days. Now understand, I truly am a journal freak. The idea of all of those empty pages makes me crazy and I have opened this one dozens of times already, dying to fill a page. But then I hear Karena's voice and I cannot think of a thing to write down. Tonight I decided that I could get around Karena's stipulation by writing a dedication at the beginning of the journal to the woman who had presented it to me. So I got it out and opened to the first page and I froze. Karena may be all the way over in Europe, but she will not always be, she is coming home in a couple of weeks. And she will demand an answer and I am scared of her. So...sigh...the journal is still not broken in and continues to taunt me. I finally turned to one of the pages where the following blessing is written, "Count your blessings in stead of your crosses; count your gains instead of your losses." I really like this blessing. So, I drew a very pathetic attempt at the "like" thumbs up hand that you can click on Facebook. Now, perhaps the journal will stop sitting there smirking at me and I can get some sleep.