In the end what matters?

I have just spent the past couple of weeks doing a fairly in-depth study of the Byron brouhaha. Let me warn you off of ever thinking of doing such a study yourself. The whole Regency aristocracy is a depraved nightmare and you just don't want to go there. I have learned a few things along the way. While I love the Romantic poets, I mean I seriously love a number of them, I do not agree with their philosophy that one must have a certain level of depravity in order to allow one's genius flag to fly. I read apologists for both Lady and Lord Byron in my research and was quite stunned to read over and over again, that Lord Byron could not have created anything beautiful unless he was a depraved monster, that his depravity led to his genius (okay, they say it much nicer than that, but that is the gist of what they are saying). I am now going to work on creating a list of people who made the best choices they could make, given their health and circumstances, and still wrote works of beauty. Feel free to offer up your suggestions.

I also came away identifying with Lady Byron in a number of ways (except for choice of husband, I got that right, she did not). She had a marvelous ability to read other people and make a quick assessment of their needs. However, she could not turn that gift on herself and gauge her own needs and monitor her own responses in a healthy way. I can relate to this struggle. She was a philanthropist who truly understood where the education system needed to go, a sharp departure from where it was currently running in her day and she went to work and turned the lives of many children around with her educational programs, schools, and offerings. I have grown to love and appreciate this woman.

In the end, would I seek out or accept a life of selfish depravity if I could, as a result of such a life, write the way Lord Byron could write? Or...would I be content to be largely forgotten and even vilified by many, even though I was a decent writer in my own right, if I could make the difference in the lives of children and be a patron to such great contributors as George MacDonald and Charles Babbage? I am walking away from this course of study believing that, though she was far from perfect, Lady Byron made the correct choices.