I had a frustrating experience on the beach last night. I have always had such powerful meditations on the beach to the sound of the surf. For me, God's voice is heard in the surf more clearly than almost anywhere else. This beach visit has been anguishing because of heavy rain and last night was really my first chance to meditate on the beach. Something that I love to do at night but last night was different. I could not connect, I could not find my way into my usual meditative state and I felt so desperate and anxious and then I descended into a place of darkness. It was my fault, I am aware of that. There is much to learn from this, mediation has always come so easy for me but I need to be reminded that it is work and I sometimes need to put in some effort.
But the bigger lesson struck me this morning as I sat on the beach yet again with a book of poetry and found myself back in my meditative groove. It hit me that the meditations I have done recently at the Bok Tower Gardens have been powerful and filled with peace and truth. As I came to this realization it dawned on me that this is the voice of God that I need to hear right now, the voice found in the garden, among the trees, the flowers, the Spanish moss, and the meandering paths. There are times in my life when I need the voice heard in the surf, the energy and the power that is found there, but not right now, right now I need stillness and foundational strength that comes from the voice of a huge Live Southern Oak. And it's okay because there will again come a time when I need to hear the voice found in the surf.
In the end I am grateful for the gift of mediation and my ability to receive strength from the voices of nature and I am doubly grateful that God knows best what voices I most need to hear.
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