I have been thinking long and hard about trials and God's hand in them, of late. I have mentioned the fright that my friend, Andy, gave us all recently. But this illness has awakened an Andy that I have been praying to see. And he readily admits that the changes that he has been forced to face have been a blessing in his life. Now, I am not saying, IN ANY WAY, that I would have wished what happened to Andy to have happened. Quite the opposite is true. But the fruits that this trial is bringing to life are truly a blessing. In fact, I find myself tearing up as I write this, because I am so grateful. First, for his health and second for his more tender heart.
Now, another family that I love is facing a similar challenge. Some poor choices led a young man into a terrible car accident. I believe that, in the end, he will be healed. But I wonder if this consequence of his choices will lead this precious man to step back and realize that his choices led to this and that he needs to re-evaluate and make new choices from this day forward. This realization, along with many fervent pleas for his recovery, are now a large part of my prayers.
Some of you know that I am not a stranger to tragedy. I have lost some people that I love to some ridiculous situations. Some through their choices, or the poor choices of others, some through just the consequences of human existence. But each time these kind of things occur, I hear so many people say so many different things. I hear, "God sent a wake up call" or "God loves this person so much that He will do whatever it takes to save him" or "I am glad that God is in control of all of this". And I get confused. How much is God's hand in these things? I would seriously love to hear people's thoughts on this. I have mentioned this kind of thing before, but I am still seeking answers. And you all know how I feel about free will and how free will is God's greatest gift to us. So...where does free will end and God's control begin? I am very aware that God is there and that He is aware of me, but I think He is often very hands off, at least from my perspective.
Your thoughts...
Honestly, I believe that God holds much less of a hand in things than many think.
ReplyDeleteHeavenly Father put us on this earth to make mistakes. He doesn't put us in situations to make bigger mistakes to "teach us a lesson." Do I believe in coincidence? No. In saying that, I do believe that if you suffer a car accident because you are drunk driving, and miss certain death by half an inch - that is Heavenly Father's influence and Divine Intervention. But was it his doing that caused you to get into the accident, run the red light, erect the stop sign? Absolutely not. He made, through His own free will, to change your fate. Other situations are not so clear cut, and are left to interpretation.
If we are not accountable for our actions, Heavenly Father's actions mean nothing. The paths we take lead several different places, but we are never on train tracks we can't get off of. Heavenly Father is never completely in control - that would defeat His purpose. It would also defeat our purpose! Free will is our greatest gift - and I believe he is only there to "correct" the most dire of mistakes if something else we have to offer has not yet been completed. It's a gray area with no clear boundaries.
I also believe God is a being of consequence. I often find myself wishing those that did me wrong be punished as I punish myself for losing them, yet I never see that punishment taken out. Now, maybe that is because people don't broadcast the troubles in their lives - and maybe it is because God is biding His time. But I do believe we pay for what we do on Earth while we are still on Earth. How much of that we bring on ourselves subconsciously and how much is brought on directly by God - I do not know, and I do not care to know.
Like I said, I don't believe in coincidence. But I don't believe that God watches everything we do every day because he plays us like Chess pieces. He intervenes rarely, and only when He needs to, because His plan includes quite a bit of unknown, doesn't it?
Signs. Signs was a great movie that combines science fiction with some great divine inspiration. It also struck a chord in that I have long believed God speaks to all of us in signs. Strangely, the more intelligent we are, the more difficult it is for us to recognize and interpret those signs. The most simple minded people have absolutely no difficulty seeing His signs. Consequently, some of the most intelligent people can not see signs at all, and become affirmed atheists. There are signs all around us. We must slow down and take the time to observe them, for many of the signs are only there for an instant.
ReplyDeleteAmber: You crystalized to words very well the things that I am feeling. I just cannot bear the thought of a puppetmaster.
ReplyDeleteAnon: Well! This would explain why, at my times of deepest intelletual pursuit, I am furthest from God. And I have to make a conscious effort to return to the simple truths after those times. You are a highly intellectual person. Do you feel that you sometimes miss the signs around you?
I always laid down the bunt. I led my team in sacrifices.
ReplyDeleteYes, I understand. You still do.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe you have to dumb up to get closer to God. Rather, you have to really use your brain to recognize and interpret those signs he left JUST FOR YOU.
ReplyDeleteI would interpret what you say as a reminder that we need to foster a very personal relationship with our God, so that we are open to those promptings and signs. I appreciate what you are offering here. I do not want to dumb down and I do not believe that God would want me to do such a thing.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more dear Cyn. I needed this tonight more than you will ever know. I love and miss you to death and hope all is well!
ReplyDeleteCynthia,
ReplyDeleteJust getting around to catching up on my blog reading. BTW, hope your tummy is feeling better. Now to God stuff...I am a big believer in free will and that we have choices to make. I, too get all confused with what happens after that because I have had and seen my share of loss. I tend to "blow off" the people that say God takes people because he wanted them and things like that. I wrote about that in my last blog...how God needs to be our compass and that if we follow that we will have peace...not live forever here but have peace to know that we are in relationship with the one who made us. Anyway, take care and keep writing! I would like to link you to my blog if that is okay...let me know.
Terry
YES! I love the thoughts that you offer Terry. It would mean a great deal to be linked with your blog. Thank you for your insights here. I just read your post about God as our compass and it made incredible sense and gave me a great deal of peace. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteCynthia,
ReplyDeleteI struggle with this myself, as I am supposing many do. I should should disclose that while I am not a fan of labels or religion, I would have to call myself agnostic by default. I am someone of above-average intellect, and I have never been able to embrace religion fully, because I find myself picking it apart logically.
That said, life is full of events that exceed coincidence and defy explanation, begging a guiding force beyond what I can explain, and likely what others would call God's will. Most people find themselves at some time in life acknowledging that "things will turn out for the best", placing faith in a situation, if not in God. But what about the other side of extremes?
During my divorce 10 years ago, I went through a series of events, some directly related to the divorce, some not, that led me to wonder "why me"? We've all been there. I remember thinking at the time that if God's will were truly at work, why would anyone have to suffer in such ways?
Retrospectively, my own trials and problems were miniscule compared to the life events that some must endure, such as those it sounds like you are dealing with. But it does beg the question - if there is a God at work, how far does God's reach extend? If we rationalize negative events and conclude that they are more directly a result of free will and choice, then why would we not attribute positive results in a similar manner? And taking that a step further, if we conveniently decide which events in life God had a hand in, and which He didn't, then doesn't this call into question one's faith altogether?
I'll continue to struggle with this, most likely as long as I live. I hope that I am fortunate enough to find the truth.
Dearest Cynthia,
ReplyDeleteThis brought two things to mind. The first is the death of our dear friend, Eric, in 2000. He died on the Santa Barbara Freeway in a single car accident. No one knows how or why it happened, but his car rolled four times across traffic. He was in a coma for four days and we received the call from his brother at 7:30 on a Sunday morning that he was gone. I cried for days, not just tears of grief, but tears of anger. I was unbelievably angry that God would allow Eric's life to be cut short, and that my prayers for his healing were seemingly ignored. And God spoke to me in that. Not in an audible voice booming from heaven. I just had a thought drop fully formed into my mind. I did not start at the beginning and think it through to the end, it just appeared, complete. "I have plans and purposes about which you know nothing."
Plans? Purposes? In our friend's death? Then they were STUPID plans and STUPID purposes. (Forgive me, but I can be a huge baby). Later that day, I turned on the radio and this is what I heard. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8.9)
I felt convicted. Forgive me LORD for calling your plans stupid. You are God. I am not.
The second thing I thought of was being sick with cancer. I was hospitalized for the fourth time in two months, my white blood cell count was hovering above zero, and I was so sick I could barely lift my head. I was in excruciating pain. I felt death all around me. And I cried out to God, not in desperation, but in anger AGAIN because I am a slow learner. I felt abandoned, I felt lost. I could not understand why God was allowing me to fight this dragon alone since that is exactly what I felt - alone. When I quieted myself, I heard a low, gentle whisper in my spirit - "Do you trust me?"
What I learned in these two situations is that God is sovereign. No, he is not a puppet master. We are free to choose. But he is NEVER not in control. He can look at the ugliest, most hideous circumstance, and pick it up like a tool, using it to shape good in the lives of his children. (Think about Joseph and what he said to his brothers in Egypt. What they intended for evil, God intended for good. Or, think of the promise in Romans that God *causes* all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.)
Above all, He loves you. He loves me. And that love is intense and personal. Think about the intimacy implied by these promises: "Thou hast taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Thy bottle; are they not in Thy book?" (Psalm 56:8). "Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore do not fear; you are of more value than many sparrows." (Matt. 10:29-31) "Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Thy hand will lead me, and Thy right hand will lay hold of me." (Psalm 139:7-10)
I don't pretend to understand the ways of God. But I try to trust. It's all He's ever really asked of me. And when I blow it, he reminds me again, and we start afresh.
Amen to LaRae's thoughts. God can take horrible things that happen and form good things out of them, if we will allow it. On the other hand, there are too many stories of people who should habe died given circumstances in which they are injured, but their lives are spared. I think that we stumble over this issue partly because we can't comprehend God's omniscence, that all things past, present and future are manifest before Him. On a smaller scale, I think we can predict pretty well what our children will do under certain circumstances. Don't we sometimes act based on that educated guess to make the outcome better for them? From my own experience, I know that God is aware of me all the time. When we try to hide from Him we are only deceiving ourselves.
ReplyDeleteIn response to an earlier comment, I am very grateful that God postpones His punishments longer than we might want for people who have hurt us. If His punishments were immediate, that would actually interfere with our agency. And I also believe that we will be forgiven as we forgive, so I am motivated to let go of hurts and anger so that I might be worthy of His mercy.
He does know and love us intimately. I find that trials are easier to endure when I trust in His purposes and love.