Fear

I cannot seem to get away from fear right now. All that I am doing seems to be fear motivated. And fear is not a motivator for long term change. But the world is such a scary place. My friend, Andy's far too close a brush with death, the revelations that continue to pour out from Penn State, the concern I have had about taking my kids downtown, something we used to like to do before Civic Center Park was "occupied", the aging I feel in my body, the many people around me who need me and who I cannot be there for, not as well as I should, the fact that there is NOBODY running for president that I care to vote for, in any party, the constant reality hanging over me that I am not all that I profess or hope to be. So many things in all of our lives that just seem so overwhelming. Now...the real problem...I know exactly what I would say to someone else who said the things that I just said and I do NOT want to hear them. I do NOT believe them right now. God is just a concept and the Word is just that, words on a page. This, of course, adds to the fear. I realize that I will cycle out of this and will soon be working from anger and then from other emotions and then from testimony and I will be okay again, but for now fear is ruling my life.

In an effort to move past the fear, I have joined that program that Reesha has been touting for some time now, myfitnesspal.com. (Such a gift that something this great is free.) It is offering me some control in some part of my life and that is helping. It is true that there is less fear when one has knowledge and is making choices based on real knowledge. One step at a time. Hopefully, taking this step will bring me out of fear in other areas as well...