Yes, this is a tree, just the trunk of a tree, but this is my blog/journal and I wanted to have a photo to remember this experience. If you look close enough you can tell that this tree and the ground in front of it have a dry spot, surrounded by lots of sogginess. We made a trip to my beloved Bok Tower Gardens on Sunday and we got there and made the trek to the tower just in time for two things, the 1:00 concert and a heavy downpour. We all ran for the shelter near the tower but I could not hear the bells from inside the shelter due to the rain pounding the roof. So I grabbed the umbrella from my husband and I headed out into the rain to see if I could find any sort of sensible place to hear the concert. You see, the numbers that were listed in the concert included Ben Jonson's Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes as well as Bach's Organ Concerto No. ! and so it was seriously like the concert had been chosen especially for me. I just couldn't let a little rain cause me to miss it. As I wandered around the tower, getting more and more drenched, I suddenly noticed that there was a large Spanish Oak, right next to the tower that seemed relatively dry on one side. I headed there and propped myself and my umbrella as strategically as possible against that trunk and I had a front row seat to the most wonderful carillon concert! As I stood there with my eyes closed, contemplating and taking it all in, the thing that so often happens to me at that place occurred, I got a word stuck in my mind. The word "refuge". As I listened to the music and let the word steep through the layers of my brain, so many of my favourite psalms kept floating through my thoughts. The Lord is identified as a refuge time and time again in these verses that I love, and he is indeed a refuge but refuge isn't always comfortable. The origins of the word mean to "flee back" and that is what the Lord is, he is a place you can run back to in times of trouble. However, even as the tree gave me some measure of dryness and safety, it wasn't a complete shelter. The Lord seldom gives complete shelter either, we must deal with the natural consequences of free will as well as weather some of the storms of being human but he never forces us to weather them alone, there is always some sort of refuge available. Again, it is often not as complete a refuge as we might wish, but it is a strength and a place of safety nonetheless. Then there often comes that moment when someone comes along and wants to share your refuge. As I stood there listening and meditating, Karl came to find me and startled me as he snuggled in under the umbrella to share my small, dry space. I am not gonna lie, there was that split second when I felt that flare of frustration, of wanting to keep the entire place of refuge to myself. But my better nature quickly took over and I scooted and let him in. Now the refuge was less comfortable but also warmer as it was shared and we were both less alone. Sharing our refuge can be a tough choice, but it is always the right choice and sharing will nearly always bring added safety and strength. And I felt peace, peace that I only feel at certain times and in certain places and then I carry it with me in that still place inside of me to pull out when needed. I am deeply grateful that I have an awareness that I am not alone, even when I am uncomfortable, that I have someone to turn to, someone to lean my back on, even as I battle the demon(s) in front of me. Oh, and Bach's Organ Concerto No. 1 is the perfect music to accompany this blog post. Listen to it some time, it sounds like a storm at the beginning and then resolves itself into a celebration of conquering.
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