The way I see it

Today I posted a quote from Lucille Ball on my Facebook wall. It said, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." I stated that I was not certain that I agreed with this idea and invited discussion. Well...I certainly got what I asked for, and more. But there was one comment in particular that caused me to think that perhaps it is time that I said my piece on a certain passage of scripture. (Okay, I have said it before, but I need to say it again.)

In Mark 12:30-31 we read, 30)And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31)And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

I have always been told that this second part means that I am to love my neighbor as I love myself. But from a time since I was quite young I have read it differently. To me, when I read this first scripture, we are being told to love Him with everything we have got and then we are told that the second is like unto the first. So...in my mind that translates to say that I need to love my neighbor as myself. As me. I need to love my neighbor as only Cynthia can love them, with my particular gifts, talents, and abilities. I need not love them in any other way but the unique way that God gave me to love. Too many times we try to love our neighbor as someone else, as a facade, as we think we should be or as someone tells us we must be and we do not meet the measure of love for which we are capable. In my way of thinking, this means I must know myself, but not necessarily have a huge pile of self love. And I must know myself in conjunction with the first scripture, through God.

I struggle to love myself. But I do not struggle to love others. And the more that I am loving others, the easier it is to be less harsh with myself. So I am going to continue to read this scripture the way it makes sense to me and keep trying to be the most loving self that I can be, and hope that this is enough.